10 Steps
to Totally
Screwing Up Your Skin For Life
By
Leah Day
Do
you want to be really ugly? I'm not talking just run of the mill unattractive,
I mean do you want babies to cry when they see you?
If
you're really hankering for ugly, screwed up skin then here's some
quick skin care tips to follow!
1.
Develop your love of excessive makeup - Start going for that caked-on,
inch think layer of foundation and blush. Wear it to bed so you can
save time and energy having to wash it off and then put it all back
on again the next morning. And remember - you can NEVER have too much
eye shadow!
2.
Tanning beds are your new best friend - Want to speed up the aging
process into overdrive? Forget normal sissified sunbathing - head
to tanning beds for the real deal. Wear your dark, leathery skin proudly
as you parade your future skin cancer out for all the world to see.
3.
Sunscreen is enemy #1 - Heading outside for a few minutes every
day without sunscreen won't make you ugly, so you'll need to make
a concentrated effort to stay out for hours so you can really screw
up your skin. Of course if you're following tip #2 properly this tip
won't be necessary!
4.
Is that a zit? Pick it! - Dirty fingernails are no longer your
skin's enemy if you're really trying to get ugly. Pick and pop every
blemish you see for a satisfying feeling and lasting noticeable scar.
5.
Chow down on junk food - Your skin is an outward reflection of
what you put in your body. With persistent work you can take normal,
clear skin and make it erupt with blemishes and excessive oil just
by chowing down excessively on anything greasy, sweet, or particularly
fattening.
6.
Sleep is for losers - Want seriously baggy eyes and a sagging,
droopy expression? Stop sleeping today. Indulge in caffeine and start
developing a lasting love for video games right now. After all what
else are you going to do once your skin is totally screwed up?
7.
Start smoking all the time - Who needs food when you're living
off nicotine? Aside from a wonderful smoky perfume, cigarettes will
turn your soft supple skin into thick, wrinkled rhino hide within
a short few years.
8.
Drink, Drink, and Drink some more - If the cigarettes won't turn
you ugly fast enough, you can always turn to booze instead. Overindulgence
in alcohol will not only get you fired, your kids taken away, and
your life pretty much ruined - it'll also make you ugly as sin!
9.
Stop washing your face - Throw your three step system in the trash
and embrace the dirt, dead skin cells, and bacteria that naturally
accumulates on your face every day. After all, when you don't wash
your face your skin ages twice as fast, so by the end of the week
you should be looking pretty bad, and by months end - totally ugly!
10.
If you do wash, SCRUB HARD - Your extra grime accumulated from
not washing your face will need a little extra scrubbing to get it
totally clean. Ditch that pathetic rough washcloth for steel wool
if you're really serious about being truly ugly.
Congradulations!
You're officially ugly and have screwed up your skin for life!
Now
if you're ready to be pretty again, request a free
skin care consultation with Leah Day to get your skin looking
great fast!
